Blog - Counter Intuitive Thoughts about the Value of a Naysayer in Your Life
Counter Intuitive Thoughts about the Value of a Naysayer in Your Life
Shhh… I have two secrets to share with you about the Naysayers in your life!
I’m curious if you have ever experienced a moment when you had this big, amazing idea and someone you love, trust or admire shuts it down? How does that make you feel?
For me, I feel like a popped helium balloon falling to the ground.
Because in that moment just before I share this amazing vision, I feel energized, excited and floating like a bouncy happy balloon. Then when the person, the Naysayer in this case, isn’t in totally jumping up and down with excitement with me, I feel like my dream has been popped and dropped to the ground where it is getting stomped all over.
Ugh! My body feels deflated and broken. I want to give up on myself.
I notice that my mindset turns from "I can totally do this" to a cacophony of negative self-talk saying things like "Told you that was a dumb idea" These negative self talk voices want to throw a party inside my head. Here a few of the top billing negative self-talk voices (aka saboteurs) crashing my party.
1. No Good Ned ["You’re not good enough"]
2. Judgy G ["Seriously, who do you think you are?"]
3. Pleasing Penny ["I couldn't possibly do this, it might upset them too much"] and a lot of their sneaky entourage.
Have you ever had a similar experience? When the Naysayer tries their hardest to keep you from following your dreams?
Here is a little secret I want to share with you…
Your Naysayer may be the best gift you can receive to provide clarity on what YOUR DREAM is and they are a big signal you are navigating towards something SUPER important for you.
How? When your excitement is popped and you’re feeling deflated, it’s a clear sign that you WANTED something! It’s important to YOU. There is huge value in paying attention to your reactions to check in with how important this dream is to you.
Here's another secret...
It is also likely that the Naysayer is afraid of taking risks in their own life and they are trying to protect you from growing and changing because it's UNCOMFORTABLE for THEM to see you taking risks. They want to protect and keep you from playing a bigger game in your life. It’s not safe for them to see you grow and flourish towards your dream. I know making changes in your life is emotionally risky but that's where the growth and expansion of life happens.
Here's a tip for you: A great way to check if the person providing the feedback is providing a reality check or just being a Naysayer is to see if the Naysayer is actually taking risks in their own life to reach their dreams. If they aren’t, they are likely not in the arena playing a bigger game for themselves and are afraid of change and aren't willing to be vulnerable...they aren't taking risks.
I want you to ask yourself this: "Do they have a right to squash your dreams because you are willing to take a risk?" If your answer is a 'No!' then I want you to keep going towards your dream. You’re worth it!
Here are a few counter intuitive tips from me on how you can switch the perspective so you’re not throwing a party with a bunch of 'playing it small in life' party poopers and instead become confident that you’re on the right course going after the life YOU are dreaming of.
- Naysayers provide clarity about what is really important to YOU when it's hit a strong emotional cord within yourself.
- Naysayers are squashing your dream because they are scared about their own potential; It’s not about you. Keep being YOU!
- Naysayers help you recognize who is actually in your corner cheering you on towards your dreams because those are the folks lifting you up. Be around a supportive community!
I encourage you to have fun ruffling feathers vs smoothing them out with the Naysayers when it comes to going after YOUR DREAMS. They don’t have to be your enemy and instead can be an Informer.
Reach out to me if you find yourself listening to the Naysayer more and it's keeping you from going after your desires and dreams versus listening to the encouraging words and support from your Cheer Squad. Heck, I would love to be part of your cheer squad so please click the link below to schedule a complimentary sample session with me. Feel free to send this blog to anyone you know who is letting negative self talk or Naysayers get in the way of their dreams!
