Blog 010421 - Ask for Help

Ask for Help

You're not alone. 

If you had a contrary thought pop after you read that statement, it's false. 

How do I know? Because my irrational lizard brain tried to tell me this last week after an episode of mental illness tried to wrap its tentacles around a loved one in our family. I witnessed how it impacted all of us on different levels. After the immediate crisis passed, I knew I needed to process it, or else the impacts of mental illness would continue to have a ripple effect sucking me down with it. 

All the wisdom I have received in my growth journey was in direct conflict with my reptilian brain (sympathetic nervous system). It caused a torrent of thoughts in my head. There was a battle between my Sage's inner wisdom and Saboteurs' inner-critic voices. The irrational thoughts I heard float in my brain were phrases like…  

"Stay strong for your partner."

"Stuff your needs aside."

"If you cry, you won't be able to stop."

"You don’t have time for this." 

These were battling against my inner Sage, who was urging me to seek help. 

Her words of wisdom were more persistent than the mess of Saboteur lies. Her gentle words were… 

"Move your body."

"Share with your trusted circle."

"Cry!"

"You need rest and restoration." 

It wasn't easy to listen to this wise and compassionate voice, but ultimately she won out when I begrudgingly joined my morning calls and shared with my trusted circle what was happening on Monday morning. Sharing my mess is not my natural state. I have 40+ years of conditioning to keep it all together. 

Thank goodness, my trusted circle of women didn't let me get away with this toxic martyr behavior. They held space for me as I processed the experience. I spilled my words, my fears, and my tears. Being seen and witnessed by others is a priceless gift. 

Simon Sinek nails this concept of asking for help in his article on An Optimist View on 2021 published this week. https://simonsinek.com/2021 He also highlights some other great advice for looking at 2021 with a more positive perspective.  

Here's the benefit I received from asking for help... Instead of feeling constricted with emotions, a floodgate opened, which poured out creativity, productivity, and tons of capacity for my clients. 

Asking for help allowed me to help others. 

Let it flow through you so you can continue to flow with ease!

What have you decided to keep bottled up inside that needs to flow out? 

Reach out to me so you can have a trusted person in your circle.

I've got you in this messy and imperfect world. You don't have to keep it all together.

Taryn Laakso